hi...

it's me, due to one request i will just say smth short here to shut him up.

UPDATE!!!!!

mom n dad are coming on dec 4th woohooooo and i finish exams on dec 2nd =/

exams start now 21st, i have 5 shifts of nightguard duty at the library since it'll be open for 24hrs for 2-3wks, and then..... oh yeah! project due 10th Nov, that's next wk ><" and assignment due on 13th, got dinner on 11th and meeting on 14th and 17th.. got 2 papers on 26th and one on 21st, 24th and 2nd dec. so yeah probably another month of no action again hehehe

there! happy now?

drowning...

when i can barely swim... again thoughts of self doubts and negativity plague me. I wonder if I've bitten off more than I could chew for the umpteenth time! I can't help it, they just come. I have so much work to do and I feel so lost. HELP!!! I don't know where to start and it's like deadlines are coming one after another >.<"

ok breathe~~~ one little step at a time and I can do this!!! first we deal with the things that needs to be done this week and that means i'll have to set deadlines for my work with the students' union as well just so i'll keep to deadlines. so this friday got 2 assignments due i'll do them first then after that there's labs due. Also need to study for a mid term that's coming up next week. oh dear... maybe i'll go to the archives on monday then study tues wed thurs... hopefully... i can do this. BAN negative thoughts. I AM A CAPABLE INDEPENDENT WOMAN!!!! boo yah!

again this is just to let u all know i'm alive, i don't know why i keep this blog anymore either.. i don't actually blog now, i rant... i am no blogger! thank goodness for that, phew~!

i'm alive...

here's the latest on my life

- moved into new apartment and here's how my room looks like.. parts of it :))

my cupboards would be to the right side out of frame hehe


i love my wall!! waiting to get more postcards so i can stick it all around the map. it's not much but hey it's my little haven, my private space and i get to personalise it unlike my room the past two years... yay to not having to move out every semester anymore!!!

- i'll be doing a systems design project (SDP) this year, and i mean YEAR! well there will be my break in dec, wondering if i am gonna go back to miri for long cos i miss home but i also might have to do the project during the holidays, hopefully not though. the company i'm working for is awesome!!! love their concept, and there's some stuff that's P&C so can't say exactly what i'll be working on, although currently i really dunno what i'll be doing as yet ;)

- i'm planning on going for internship the next summer, i know for now that's still several months but hey, gotta be prepared. If i can get an internship with any shipping co that would be awesome! hahaha i have no idea why but i like the shipping industry, the challenge of getting things to work in the fastest possible time with minimum cost. woot~!

- i might be joining the student union executive committee. lol and by might it's a fairly high chance. i'll be getting co-opted so there's no need for me to run. what intrigues me more is the archiving of the SU historical records, they have stuff going as far back as 1951! i know it's all book-ish but i like it, to be honest the SU has done quite a lot for the students of NUS but i'd like to find out what their starting point was... ah well.. a little shiny mark on my resume too i suppose, which is nice.

- personally... i'm trying out new things this sem... all of a sudden i feel a change in me, i'm not as afraid of new experiences as i once was, is this growing up? this sudden self discovery somewhat depresses me... although i don't think depress is the right word, just feeling more grounded now. who knows? maybe it's my hormones again

- speaking of hormones i've been having super weird dreams the past 3 nights culminating in last night's dream where the setting was ancient, kungfu era and ppl actually had all those fighting abilities with dunno what nonsense qi gong and all that jazz... i kid u not, i opened my eyes thinking what the fuck was that?!!! @@

update #445

i wanted to blog about my new room previously but only managed to post pics onto facebook because something was wrong with blogger... smth is still wrong with blogger but at least now i think i can post pictures. currently i'm still getting my room in order, i got the master room but there's no space for me to store my books, super sad case!! in any case i'm still trying to figure out where to put stuff and i have to make a list of things to get.. i need more clothes hanger for one.. haha my cupboard looks so forlorn cos there's so much space n not enough clothes XD but that does NOT mean shopping.. i pok kai already trying to maintain the rent... ah well i think if i spend wisely i'll be fine. this is only the beginning, i probably need a month to adjust n see what's my budget.

here's the end of this word diarrhea, not much of one but i promise i'll upload the pics of my room soon as i finish sorting things out. and no u don't get to see the inside of my closet :P

10days...

...till i fly back to sg and move to my new apartment.
...for me to enjoy the last few home cooked meals i'll be eating before the long drought
...left to spend with my mom until i see her again at the end of the year

it's not the leaving that's hard, it's the time before i leave that's tough. once i'm out there i'll be ok again.. this time there's stuff to look forward to, i'm not sure if i want to join in orientating lost lambs this year altho it seems kinda fun i suppose but i also have to move into a new apartment this time around. will take pictures of the new place when i get there, my housemate says it's really nice tho hehe we'll see.. till then i think i'm just gonna be enjoying the last of my rotting days while thinking about which guys i can ask to help me move cos the apartment's on 3rd floor... and there's no lifts =/ moving is gonna be tough but at least daily climbing stairs will be good for me hehe

of caves, bats and sampans

need to write this all down before i forget :P

woke up early, went to airport, flew to mulu on an ATR, flight was pretty full.. arrived n met by guide, hopped onto an old van with no license plate to the benarat lodge. longhouse style, no electricity but powered by generator which they turned on from 11am to 11pm.
actually supposed to be 6pm to 11pm but oh well :D

had lunch, chinese style cooking, absolutely yummers =) rested, showered n guide brought us to Mt Mulu National Park

registered, asked for certifications (5bucks each) and went on our way to langs cave n deer cave
plank walked all the way, saw some interesting bugs, geckos, chameleons, plants u read of in textbooks (meranti., lianas etc), wild ginger ooh and there were LOTS of butterflies!!!! oh oh and we saw a pygmy squirrel too! altho coming from the guide i thought he said pick-me squirrel, that'd be a funny name haha then we caught a glimpse of the Raja Brooke butterfly, it was big..

arrived at langs cave saw the stalactites, stalagmites n helictites.. so pretty!!! some even look like curtain drapings! n there's a bell-shaped hole in the ceiling of the cave, guide explained how it was formed, i wasn't really listening hehe

went over to deer cave and at entrance we see a turtle! ahahaha and on entering the cave, the stench of ammonia will greet u first, followed by the sight of guano all over the floor.. they use wire mesh for path in this part just so guano wouldn't accumulate on the walkway. walked all the way in to see adam's shower, eve's shower n the garden of eden.. so pretty!! eventho the cave ceiling collapsed but something pretty still can form.. amazing-nya!! so after that it was out of the cave back to the bat observatory to wait for the bats to come out... yet another amazing scene. there's just so many of them... oh and we saw the bats hanging on the ceiling while they were inside, it's scary how they form shades of brown among the grey of the rock ceiling surface

after bat exodus, walked back to HQ and headed back for dinner. rested and went to sleep. i woke up in the middle of the night cos it got kinda hot. i opened my eyes and saw.... nothing! i have never experienced pitch black before and this is quite a new experience.. totally cannot see anything

woke up before 8 the next day, had breakfast n went to the penan settlement to see some of their handicrafts n watched the penan women play their instrument with the nose.. no idea how but it was kinda cool.. after that took a boat ride from the settlement to clearwater n wind cave about 15min upriver.. OMG had to get out n push the boat 3 times!!! twice on our return trip lol

walked up planks 100m one way first to cave of the winds... there's one part where the wind comes in, it's kinda wondrous how it just so happens... but it's so cool! then going in further past the windy hallway we enter the king's chamber. thus called because u can find a man-like stalagmite with a hand-like stalactite and another hawk-like stalagmite all clustered together.. in another part u have a stalactite that looks like a baby's arm.. eerie resemblance there and there's also a stalagmite that looks like kuan yin..

left cave of the winds and walked to clearwater clearing, sat down, yumcha a bit (prepared by the tour agency) and rested while enjoying the peace n serenity of the clearwater river source... After which we climbed 200 steep steps to reach the opening of clearwater cave.. 200, killer steps! i shit u not. everyone who climbed those steps hav to rest partways several times n by the time they reach the top they're all gasping for breathe! lol except the guides....

the clearwater cave entrance has 2 chambers, one they call lady cave cos there's stalagmites that look like women inside, lady cave also has a chamber that was soooo deep it's said that long time ago it was a waterfall there. anyhoos went back out the way we came in n went to the other side to the final cave of this expedition. specialty of clearwater cave, there's a river flowing thru it, and the river leads to sarawak chamber, largest underground chamber in the world which is only open to experienced cavers, the other opening to the chamber was blocked already so i didn't get to see it =( but went all the way to the end, saw another hole in the cave ceiling, same as the cave of the winds.. same formation that is, different locations, duh.. and then we went all the way to the end where we washed our face with the river water. rumors say it'll make u one yr younger hahahah so this bday i'm still turning 20 ok?! the water was cold n refreshing, so shiok

from there went back to the lodge, shower, pack up n ate lunch.. after that it was off to the airport to wait for the flight back to miri... so fun! i'd go mulu again, go for canopy walk and maybe the pinnacles... never did get to see the pinnacles

*pictures here*

kuching tails

was in kuching 24th - 28th of may. 25th n 26th pretty much spent whole day at hospital. went to the spring twice, tun jugah once, hock lee once (just cos i was staying there) and that's pretty much it. ate everything there was to eat too - kolo mee, spinach noodle (the one i had was really good), laksa (miri's nicer), rojak, ABC, pork satay, sao bao with yam inside (yummers)

anyways nothing wrong with the auntie thank goodness. we went to see this other relative who survived a brain tumor, she was in a coma for months and she told us while in the coma she kept having dreams endlessly.. it makes u wonder maybe there really is an afterlife hearing the way she talks about it.. but those stories are for another time hehe.. oh yeah out of the 5 days in kuching i was awaken early in the morning, 6am by moans from the next door.. cilaka thin walls also... they were probably at it for an hour -___- early bird catches the moans? meh

anyways kuching is boring! hahaha but then got relatives there who are very nice. one gave us home made "ji dan gao" direct translate i think is egg cake? it's baked with charcoal, so cool and another one is honeycomb cake, that one super long time to make cos very much to do and takes patience, so much waiting.. then home made ba zhang, she made two kinds, one with salted eggs and one yam type.. zomg absolutely delicious!! i think i'm starting to love yam haha oh and this other relative drove us around bringing us to eat.. his motive was probably to stuff us up full but that was only one day la cos we rented a car to get around rather than mafan him drive us... and there's more freedom that way teehee!

ooh! ooh! smth we ate in while in kuching that can't be found in kuching --- portuguese egg tarts freshly flown in from macau!!!!!!!! i would really just fly from kl to macau n stuff myself full of portuguese egg tarts.. *drools* and there's one night i was on my way down to the lobby to use the computer there to surf internet when i heard screaming and pounding some floors above me. the lift door opened and i saw two worried parents and 2 impatient tweens. their little boy got trapped upstairs or smth, didn't get into the lift in time and panicked.. fwahhh from what i overheard from the parents the kid's on 18th floor.. i was at 12th floor when i heard the screaming and shouting.... O.O poor thing was probably scared out of his wits. oh and i know it's a boy cos i saw them the next day all fine n dandy hahaha